Thursday, December 2, 2010

Is this happening where you live?

Howdy folks. The question I posed in the title concerns the ever growing number of cyclists on the road. I know they have a right to ride their bikes and I do like bikes, but around here they (local and state government) are going and already have  added bike lanes to our already narrow and crowded streets. I realize that to some people a bicycle is their only means of transportation. What really fries my eggs are not the people who just peddle along with maybe some groceries in the back baskets, it's the people in full racing regalia. Patches and all. There all tarted up like they're in the Tour de France! Sometimes they ride in groups three abreast as if they are all alone on some winding country road. Well they're not! There on Mass. Ave in Cambridge not in Vermont. Get the hell out of my way. I have a license. I have to buy insurance. I pay an excise tax. You on the other hand buy an expensive bike and your  precious spray on "look at me mom"  bike racer outfit and you think you own the road. You pompous twits! Get over yourselves. You're not the center of the universe!

Now I wrote the above two days ago. I have little free time this week. I wany to clear something up. I guess I gave the impression that it was my birthday a few days ago. It's actually today. I'm not fishing for birthday wishes and I want to thank the people who did wish me a happy birthday. Anyway as I was writing the above at about 8:35 in the evening my doorbell rings.
"Who the hell is that?" I said to myself. As I approached the door I could see two flashing lights. One red. One clear. I could see them through the window at the top of my door. They appeared to be on top of some sort of helmet. Police? A government android agent coming to arrest me for some crime against the state? I slowly opened the door to have a dark figure in a skin tight outfit framed against a distant street light revealed to me. The face was completely covered save for the eyes. He was wearing a helmet with a blinking clear light near the front of the helmet and the red one further back. Was he collecting money for some "Underprivileged Pompous Twits Cyclist" charity?  

"Who are you?"
A muffled voice replied with surprize, "It's Earle!"
Earle is my oldest friend.
"Well how the f**** am I supposed to know it's you! All I can see are your eyes!"
"Aren't you going to invite me in?"
I was agitated. I had only been home for 40 minutes. I was going play with the computer for about a half hour then retire to read a book and just go to sleep.

In the light he looked like a a lower tier super hero.
"Help! Help!" 
Just as I was sitting in front of my computer begining this very blog, ranting about these people who ride their bikes in traffic with their "I don't ride a bike I'm a cyclist" outfit, my best friend turns up at my door. I wasn't thrilled to see him, even when I found out who he was. My city lies between his city and where he works. I wondered where "Mr. Tech's" phone was? No pockets in the costume? Maybe it would ruin his aerodynamics. Anyway we sat for a bit then I annouced that despite the great pains it caused me to kick him out, I was kicking him out. He made a pit stop and I imagine that had to be an ordeal. He has to change into his riding outfit before he comes home. Sounds like a real pain to me. Get up in the morning and put that outfit on. Get to work and change into your street clothes. Then changing back to go home. I hate getting dressed more than one time a day.  

So that's all I have for now. I've got some time now so I'll see what's going on out there. In a bit I will be having a birthday supper at a local restaurant with my family. The Car Show tomorrow night! I'm looking forward to that.

There's one good thing about the snow in the winter. The cyclists disappear.
I'm outta here.


  1. Happy Birthday to you and many more year to come.
    I would rather not seen bike rider in main road,
    but these day our government encourage to ride more bike than drive cars, although save money for gas?
    They are riding too close to the cars...
    BUT funny part of your old friend is ride a bike
    and he make an effort to come to see you on your birthday..So no complaint about bikes?

    Wish enjoy celebrate on your birthday with your family & of course friends too.
    Big Hugs,

  2. Happy Birthday Paul. Don't forget to raise your glass or bottle or whatever this evening at 8PM. The salutes are coming your way.
    Have fun with your family!
    No cycylist out here once the weather turns a bit chilly. Yes, they do look silly in those spandex outfits leaving nothing to the imagination. LOL

  3. Happy Birthday, Paul :D It's 8:06pm where I am (in Virginia) and I have raised a glass of 7&7 to you. Have a fun, fun night ------>Cheers!

  4. Happy Birthday, Paul. Whether you want the greeting or not. :-) I raised my glass of sparkling water to you. I should have got the Sam Adams beer while it was still available.

    I'm with you on the bicyclists dealie.

  5. Paul, I'm just happy you're still celebrating birthdays. Take that remark as you will.

    8 )

    Behave yourself.

    (Disregard previous advice.)

    Have a blast!

    8 )

  6. Oh Paul, yer ah hoot! You had me laughing about you writing about cyclists (HPV's human powered vehicles)and one appears at yer door! What were the odds of that? I'm glad you had yer 'eggs fried' to kick him out ;-)
    I hope you had a very nice birthday Paul. You deserve it, and many many more to celebrate in one way or another. In WI we had those cycle gangs biking through stop signs as they were on ah roll an laws did not pertain to them. Here in Missourah we put up with 4-wheelers on the road and guys with revoked drivers license's driving their lawn tractors everywhere! It's jist not right!!!! happy my friend no matter what!