Friday, July 15, 2011

I got it today!

Well today was the day. I was nervous as I went to the bank to get the money. The space on the withdrawal form wasn't big enough for me to write the amount in, and my handwriting is pretty awful to begin with. It look like you dipped a chickens feet in ink and had it walk across the slip. Yup I picked up my new car today. Well it's new to me. It's a used car, oh wait I'm sorry. It's pre-owned. Doesn't that sound better. I'm about to digress. I have noticed, and it's not hard to notice how the language is changing. They either soften the word or phrase or make it sound much more important and impressive than it is. The classic example would be garbage or trash man (Person. Don't want to insult the ladies.) has become "sanitation engineer". Do you now have to get a degree to pick up a trash barrel and dump in the back of a truck? We should make garbage, "Disposable human or animal items or food stuffs that are no longer usable or are spent beyond their usefulness".

This is a true story. I went to an ATM machine and it was out of order.  Was there a notice stating this?  It would have been annoying but at least it was direct and to the point. Well there was a notice but it said, "Closed for your convenience". They were thanking me for coming to their outlet by telling me how convenient it is for me that it's not working. Is this supposed to make me happy? Are they doing me a favor by having me go somewhere else? Maybe they should make it part of their slogan. Big Ass Bank. The convenience of inconvenience!

As most of you know I work in a supermarket. We used to have a store manager. Now they're Store Directors. I used to be an employee, now I'm an associate. What's next? Changing the parking lot to the Vehicle Storage System Facility?  What a bunch of crap!

Speaking of work. I had a lady ask for, "a half pound of tuna fish sandwhich." She chuckled about it. I am not immune to this sort of misspeaking (sorry about that). I was explaining the various turkey breasts to a customer and I called the homestyle turkey as "homeless turkey" and that's not the first time that has been said.

I have digressed mightily! I will visit around later in the evening after work. Hopefully I will have the energy. I am so busy these days. I will be working straight through till next Tuesday. Nights and days. It can really screw you up.

I'm outta here. 


  1. Congrats! Such a nice ride you will be having. Maybe the bank was doing you a favor by not letting you spend more? Not quite the friendly response of being out of order BUT better than a piece of paper taped on saying it's out of order. I dunno. Now tell us about the bedroom set. Will that arrive soon? Do you have to put it together because it won't fit through the door? Jist askin. Pace yourself with the split shifts.

  2. Enjoy your 'new car'. Better get on the phone and call your friend that helped you pick it out. I think you owe her dinner and a movie. :-)
    I think half a pound of tuna fish sandwich sounds just right.
    Stay cool!!

  3. hmmmmmm....congratulations, drive freely, happily and safely...

    The logistics of linguistics....pretty language for raw what is.

    gardener = landscaper
    sales person = retail specialist
    used cars = preowned
    janitor = Janitoral engineer
    grave robber = Archaeologist

    the lists go on

  4. Enjoy your new cars with someone your favorite lady to going for driving somewhere nice place???
    Would be nice idea Paul:-)
    Have a nice weekend.

  5. Ah, a new vehicle. Always makes you feel good. Language changes so fast it's hard to keep up.