Friday, August 27, 2010

Would you like to come over for a drink?

    Before I write anything, doesn't Rob Bogoyevitch look like he should be sitting on a ventriloquist's knee? Anyhow as you can see by the title of the blog this entry involves alcohol. Now I am not averse to enjoying an adult beverage. I'm not a big drinker. It's mostly beer. If I buy a six pack, Sam Adams, not because it's brewed here but because I like it. It will usually take me six days to drink it. One beer when I get home from work. If it is the night before a day off I may go wild and have two. I was never a big drinker. In my youth I certainly, at times, had more than I could handle but for the most part I knew my limits. I had experimented with various forms and discovered that I don't care for mixed drinks especially sweet ones. One night on a blind date, with another couple, I checked out rum and cokes and discovered that when you don't notice the alcohol as much because of the sweet nature of the drink I tended to drink way more than I could handle. My date was as sloshed as I was and it wasn't love at first sight. It was more like, "When will this night be over!" I went through a scotch phase. By the way this was all back in the early 70's. At least with a shot of scotch there was no masking that you were drinking alcohol. That phase passed. Then in the 80's a friends wife introduced me to martinis. Her husband wasn't a drinker. Straight Coca Cola was as exotic as he got. One night the four of us, I was dating her sister, were out to dinner. I had a martini as did the ladies. Dave, who was driving was slugging down the Cokes. We went back to Dave' house and the ladies decided to mix some more "'tini's" as they called them. I thought, "Why not? I'm staying the night." Well the evening wore on and I was downing the "tini's" like an old pro. I was feeling pretty good and I thought, "These aren't so bad. I can handle 'em." Yup I could handle them until I decided to strand up. Fortunately the couch I was on was going to be my bed so there I stayed. That was about 1984 or so. That was my last experience with martini's. 

So you may be wondering what this background story is leading up to. About two weeks ago my neighbor, the same one who has invited me to dinner, invited me over for a martini. She was excited because she bought a martini shaker. "Why not?" I thought. A decision I would later regret.

One of my neighbors daughters was home. She was sitting on the couch watching the Red Sox game as I plunked myself down on a chair while my friend went into the kitchen to mix the drinks. I could hear the sound  "chicka chicka" of the shaker and shortly she entered the room with two of the biggest martini's glasses I have ever seen. My first sip brought back instant memories of the taste of gin. A taste I had not experienced in about 24 years. We all sat there and chatted watching the game. I finished my rather large drink and was asked if I wanted another. Again I thought, "Why not? I only have to walk next door." I do remember drinking my second drink but not much more. I do remember stating that I was getting a wee bit tipsy but that's about it. The next thing I remember was fumbling with my keys trying to get into my front door. I stumbled in and made a beeline for my bed draping myself across the bed with my head hanging over the side. I did have the presence of mind to set my alarm as I had to go to work. The alarm went off and I swung my legs over the side and stepped in something squishy. Yes we all know what happened to me. Ugh! I couldn't bring myself to clean things up as I had to deal with getting myself together for a day of work. The clean up would have to wait till later. I grant you this is gross but I first had to get my act together for the day. In the bathroom, as I took my tee shirt off I noticed a scrape on my right elbow. When did this happen? Then I looked in the mirror and noticed two small marks on my forehead. What the hell happened last night? I remember drinking my second drink and I remember getting home. Everything else was a mystery. What the hell happened the night before? I went to work and my day really wasn't that bad as I recovered well and felt fine for most of the day but I had to know what happened the night before. Arriving home I immediately called my neighbor for answers. Well I apparently finished my second drink then she made me a third. She said she asked me if I wanted a third drink to which I apparently yes. She then asked me if I wanted to go out on the porch as it was a pleasant evening. I apparently said yes again. After a couple of minutes she decided that the porch wasn't a good idea since I was nothing more than a bag of jello. We were on the third floor. She decided she would walk me home. She said I was a happy drunk and quite amusing and entertaining. Who knows what I said. She told me to get behind her and put my hands on her shoulders as she walked me down three flights of stairs. I guess the walk home was uneventful until we got to my brick stairs. My landlords cat was curled up on my mat waiting for me to let her in. Normally I let her in and she immediately goes to the cellar door down to her domain. Well she saw me coming she just bolted. She wanted no part of me. Well I apparently stumbled up the stairs which is where I scraped my elbow and bumped my head. 

I then asked her how she mixed the drink. How much dry vermouth she added  to the gin?
"I didn't add any vermouth. Do you know how much a small bottle of vermouth costs? I found the recipe online. It said to use 3 shots of gin in a shaker with ice. Shake and pour." 
 So in reality I wasn't drinking martinis I was drinking straight gin. Nine shots of gin. Granted there is not much difference between straight gin and a martini. You only add a drop or two of vermouth. And let's not forget the olives!

Now I have not been put off alcohol from this less than proud moment in my life. It did take me a few days before I could bring to have a simple beer. 

Now you may ask if I learned my lesson from this less than glorious moment in my life. We ll the answer is yes. It will not stop me from enjoying an adult beverage from time to time whether it be when I'm out to dinner or a simple beer after work. I like beer. I am not a lush and have gone weeks between having a drink. Still it was a reminder that alcohol has to be treated with respect. This won't happen to me again, at least not for a long time. I am not proud of this but hey it happened and at least I was a happy and entertaining drunk. 
Ok. On a different note one day last week as I was puttering around the house with the television on in the background. They were talking about President Obama vacationing on Martha's Vineyard. I stopped and thought for a minute. Hey this place is in my home state and I've never been there. So the upshot of this is I will be going to Martha's  Vineyard on September 27 for several days. I hope the weather cooperates as I already have hotel reservations. I am only one street away from the ocean. I will probably take hundreds of pictures. I am excited about this as I have not made one of my local trips this year. It's been tough to get away for even a day. It will be my first complete week off in two years. 

Alright I've gone on long enough. I have been absent from here for a bit. I will now visit around as I have been lax in my cyber duties.
I'm outta here. 


  1. OMG, Blagojevich makes a perfect ventriloquist's dummy!!!
    I admit to trying alcohol when I was young. I didn't like the taste of it so that was that. Same thing with cigarettes. Lucky me.
    The trip sounds wonderful Paul. I will be looking forward to the pictures.

  2. I learned a lesson and big one a few years back. I did drink too much after a funeral.. yup and could not keep water down for days. I was so very sick.
    Now I have a glass or two of wine.
    I enjoyed your blog.
    Love the image and your right. Too funny.

  3. I OD'd when I was a teen on alky-hall and I was sick for three days. I deserved every minute of that and I learned a lesson. Never did that again.

  4. Glad you are ok.
    Yuck on the eewww factor.
    Next time you indulge in the tini limit yourself to two in small glasses and nurse them to last you through your stay.
    Enjoy Martha's
    Have a great one

  5. OMG!!! ah drunken jello man on the third floor porch! I'm sure you learned your lesson. It's no fun when you can't remember if you had fun? I think the neighbor lady wanted her way with you. Did you use a rape kit after? Wait...? Glad your back and have a fun stay at Martha's.

  6. Toodie I doubt anything happened. After all you can't row a boat with a rope.

  7. Hi Big Boy,

    You can call me floofy anytime.

  8. Peel me a sardine, won't you, big guy?

  9. I only tolerate a glass of semi-sweet wine now, occasionally. Beautiful photo at the top.

  10. I heard of up the creek without ah paddle but ah never rowing with ah rope.....RONFLMAO!

  11. Checking your place out. You have a new look!! It is awesome and I like it a lot.

  12. Um...Paul??? Some day I will blog about my very first experience with alcohol intoxication at 18 years of age. I can laugh about it now, but it wasn't so funny 'way back then.

    I'm happy you were a happy drunk; when I've had too much I'm very quiet and withdrawn; not happy at all. Most important, I'm glad you weren't injured more seriously, at least no more than your pride.

    Gin??? Straight gin was your downfall???


    I'm cringing at the thought; my first experience involved sloe gin. To this day I can't think of it without my stomach remembering what my brain can't forget. (Did that make sense?)

    I'm getting accustomed to your new blog theme...pretty impressive!!!

    "See" you again soon!!!

    *hugs Paul bigly*