I'm here. I have been busy. I have attempted two blogs but they never went anywhere. I have poked my head into the blogging world to see what was going on. You know where I come up with ideas for a blog many times? At work or when I'm driving. I scribble them down when and if I have the chance. If I don't then the idea just disapears. If I sit down and try and force a blog I get nothing. Writers block. Sort of a constipation of the mind. There's a a lot of stuff in there but you can't get it out. If only there was a product like Bloglax to soften things up. Break the log jam. Then the words and ideas would come splashing down on the cyber page. So anyway I am presently in the middle of a third try to get this particular entry rolling.
A woman I work with has been transferred. Cathy was a very nice lady, but Cathy will be remembered for more than that. She said some of the most off the wall things. Very Gracie Allen-ish. I have mentioned her before and quoted some of here unforgettable statements. Here are a few examples.
"If you can't find me you'll know where I'll be."
"It's hard to hear with your head underneath."
A few weeks back she was doing some paperwork at one table. She stopped. Went into the back room. Came out. Stopped at different table.After 10 or 15 seconds she said out loud, "Wait! I'm not here."
The very first one that I can remember was more local Boston area speak where we can cram an entire sentence into one, two or maybe three words. In this particular case one of the guys had taken apart one of the precooked turkey dinners that you buy at supermarkets and other places, to substitute a blueberry pie for an apple pie. Cathy came over and pointed at the frozen turkey and asked, "Zatapie?"
By the look on Chucks face I could tell he was thinking,"Is she pointing at the turkey and asking me if it's a pie?" Well to boil this down we must of missed some subtle nuance in her "Zatapie" question. What she meant was, "When you took that boxed dinner off the stack of dinners out back did you take it off the top of the stack. Was that up high?"
Just two weeks ago Cathy and I were working the counter. Cathy gave a woman a sample. After the lady tasted the sample you could see the woman looking at here fingers. Cathy quickly figured out what the woman needed. She whirled around and asked, "Would you like a thing?"
The woman looked confused. I immediately turned around to suppress a chuckle. What was the woman thinking? A thing? Do I need a thing. Wait I think I have a thing. Are things on sale? Well what Cathy meant by "thing" was a paper towel.
Good luck to you Cathy. We'll miss you and we'll miss the laughs.
I know that some people are classified as legally blind and I certainly understand the need for this classification. Is there such a classification as legally stupid? When you call the store, as with many businesses, you get an automated voice telling you "Press one for this, press two for that..etc. What possessed this moron to press three for the deli to ask if we sold money orders. I wanted to tell the guy, "Yes we do! We have our standard money orders that are made out on a slice of baloney for $2.00 or you can order our deluxe money orders made out on a slice our premiere imported ham for $3.00."
As I write this it is late Saturday afternoon. It is 74 degrees with beautiful skies and a cooling breeze. It's been a hot month. I couldn't tell you how many days in July were 90 and above but I'll bet it was over 10 but the worst of it was the humidity which was with us all month except for today. It is just picture book perfect.
OK I managed a blog. Now I must manage to feed myself. Wait why don't I just ring for the butler?
I'm outta here